It seems like just a few days ago, I was blogging about what a great time I was having homeschooling my six year old. I really did like it... at the beginning. The thing I feared the most about homeschooling seems to have come to fruition: My kid drives me CRAZY!
I love Andrew. Of course! But to be honest, his personality is one that I find difficult to deal with every single day... all day. He is very argumentative... not with everyone but he sure is with Matt and me. He gets easily distracted (as do I). This is even worse when his little brother is playing and talking in the same room. He is very deliberate and slow-moving. It takes him so long to finish his work! He's super smart and this seems to make him over-think everything he is doing. I, on the other hand, do everything quickly and it's hard for me to be patient when people move at the speed of snail!
These are all issues I can deal with as Andrew's Mommy. As a mommy/teacher, however, it has become very trying. What I mean is, there is a very blurry line between my role as "Mommy" and my job as Andrew's academic "Teacher". Most days, I feel like I am on Andrew's case all the time. There is never a time when I am just his Mom or just his Teacher. These lines are easier to draw when they are separate roles.
My life feels chaotic some days, lonely and isolated other days, and always like I'm spreading myself too thin between both boys while trying to educate Andrew. I like to keep my life as simple and stress-free as possible but I always seem to be putting myself into situations that give me the opposite results. I guess I'm just a risk-taker. But I can't help but wonder if I should take less risks when it comes to my kids.
So, what am I going to do? With my husband's support, I am looking into our options for putting Andrew into a more traditional classroom setting. I would love to put Andrew back into the private school he attended kindergarten. But private school is so dang expensive! Our neighborhood public school isn't bad, based on what I've heard... but it's also not great, based on what I've heard. Since I taught in public school prior to becoming a mom, I am very cautious about any public school I may choose to enroll my own children in.
I have an appointment to take a tour of our public school and to sit in on some of the first grade classes tomorrow. The staff at the school seems very accommodating and friendly. I got the impression they would love to have my son at their school. This is a very encouraging start.
I really hope to find a school that is balanced in terms of demographics, doesn't spend all its education time preparing for standardized tests, and doesn't have the ESL issues so many of our schools have. If I'm not satisfied in these areas... well, then we have some more thinking to do.
So, I'd appreciate your prayers that we'll make the right decision. And that Andrew won't be devastated to find out he won't be homeschooled anymore. He loves it... I just wish I did!
I'll keep you all posted!
4 comments:
I can so relate to this feeling! The thing that keeps me going is that I am doing something that is good for Caleb. It is a sacrifice and I think that is something that is hard to get used to...giving things up for this. Things like going out to the mall with friends and even having a cup of coffee by myself in the morning. I would love to have you over for coffee...we can talk and maybe help eachother somehow. I think it is important to surround yourself with people going through the same thing. Maybe we won't feel so alone in our efforts then. In the meantime I will pray for your clarity and wisdom with these decisions. Email me and we'll set it up! jimnrach@juno.com
You are in my prayers, this is such a tough decision, I know I would go nuts trying to be my child's teacher and mom, it is a very hard job. I hope everything goes well at the school. Good luck
You are a super woman to even homeschool for part of the year! Some kids are just harder to deal with. Violet is very argumentative as well, and I know it would be constant tug-of-war to homeschool her. I can't imagine doing it with a younger child needing attention as well. I will be in the same boat--public school--when she starts. Good luck!
I always get myself into situations like this. I too, am trying to simplify my life, but then I make such wild commitments. You are not crazy, you are trying to find the BEST possible environment for your child. Originally you thought that the best scenario would be homeschooling, but it didn't work out and that's ok. I honestly believe that some do better in the home than others. And bottom line is that it was not working for you either. I will be praying about this for you.
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