I grew up with brothers. So, I figured I pretty much knew everything there is to know about boys. I've since discovered that what I thought I knew is minuscule compared to what I would learn after having two boys of my own. Here are just a few discoveries I've made since becoming a Mom to boys:
10. Boys are noisy. I don't necessarily mean loud, I mean that they are responsible for all kinds of noises. The obvious ones, of course, are related to eating and digestion. Then there are their "tools", like play drills and buzz-saws. They have toy fire trucks, police cars, fighter jets, and helicopters. These are equipped with buttons to push and these buttons set off shrill and/or loud sirens, mock gun-fire, or the put-put-put sound rotating blades. If the toys don't come equipped to make noise, no worry... boys are good at making up their own sound effects.
9. It's funny... no, hilarious to fart in the tub. Enough said.
8. Worms still squirm after they've been pulled into two pieces. This, I discovered after Andrew accidentally pulled apart "Charlie", a worm he had found. "Mommy, Charlie broke." This was how my oldest, who was three at the time, informed me of the tragedy.
7. It's not easy to aim in the right direction when using the restroom. Again, enough said.
6. Dirt tastes good. Or so it seems, based on the amount of dirt my youngest boy consumed before he turned two.
5. Legos are evil. Don't get me wrong... I love Legos! I've come to realize, however, that when Legos are allowed to escape the confines of their box or their put-together sets, they place themselves in very strategic places. Places that are just right for causing great pain as an unsuspecting bare foot comes right down on top of them.
4. Boys like Boobies. I know, it seems obvious but I assumed that boys wouldn't care much about breasts until they hit puberty. Apparently, it starts much younger than that. My first encounter with this phenomenon was when I took my older boy with me to Nordstrom. As I was looking for a bra in the lingerie department, I looked down to see Andrew squeezing the pre-formed bras. A second later he was shouting, "Boobies, Mommy, boobies! I love boobies!!" It's a good thing I don't embarrass easily because I'm sure everyone in the store heard it, including two young salesgirls who were trying unsuccessfully not to laugh. Nate has a similar obsession with breasts but I'll save those stories for another time.
3. Boys collect all kinds of "treasures". And it all ends up in the washing machine. You would think I'd learn to check pockets prior to putting clothes in the washer. Maybe I'm forgetful. Or maybe I'm just afraid to stick my hands into my boys' pockets. Either way, the result is I've pulled all kinds of items out of the washer including, rocks (lots of rocks!), sticks, Hot Wheels, sea shells, plastic lizards, plastic frogs, bolts, springs, wood chips, baby pine cones, and items of unknown origin.
2. Boys love to wrestle. Usually, Daddy is the one to wrestle with but if he's not available, they're happy to give ol' Mommy a try. If Mommy can't do it, they will wrestle with each other... that usually ends up in screaming, hitting, and tears.
1. If it looks like poop and it smells like poop, don't assume your boy won't try to taste it. Yes, yes... it's true. We found out the hard way after Nate found opossum poop in our backyard. Let's just say that Poison Control received at least one interesting call that day!
Being a Mommy to boys is an adventure. A fun, scary, busy, dirty, muddy, snuggly adventure. I've learned more about boys from personal experience than I ever thought I'd learn. And the adventure has just begun. I have years ahead of me (God willing) to discover all kinds of new things! I'm looking forward to it!
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