My youngest, Nate, was sick yesterday. I ended up taking the day off of work to take care of him. In addition to taking care of the symptoms of Nate's upset tummy (no details needed), the day was busy with cleaning, laundry, dishes, and de-cluttering the house.
As the day came to an end, I started to see the differences between being "just" a mom and being a "working" mom. While the person hasn't changed, the roles of each position are vastly different. Here's what I mean:
Working Mom (WM): Get up, get ready for work. Wake the boys up, rush around to get them ready for school.
Just Mom (JM): Wake up, snuggle with the boys until they are ready to get up.
WM: Inhale breakfast. Find something the boys can eat in the van on the way to school.
JM: Enjoy a healthy breakfast. Make breakfast for the boys... a real breakfast, complete with Flinstone's multi-vitamins and juice.
WM: Grab last-minute items & necessities. Struggle, yell, and beg in order to get the boys into the van.
JM: While the boys eat their well-balanced breakfast, peruse school notes, sign field trip permission slips, read the teacher's weekly newsletter, savor a cup of hot coffee.
WM: Drive to work/school, cursing the traffic lights and slow drivers. Put lip gloss on, dig around in my multiple bags to make sure I didn't forget the keys to my classroom. Try to figure out if my kindergartener is serious when he informs me that his field trip money and permission slip are due that day. Curse myself and my parenting skills when I realize he's telling me the truth.
JM: Kiss the husband and kindergartener good-bye after making sure they have everything they need for the day.
WM: Late for work (again!). Send Andrew to the playground with the rest of the K-3rd graders with kisses and promises to pick him up right after school. Take Nate to his preschool room...promise to pick him up after nap-time, peel him off my legs, pick him up because he looks sad. Give lots of kisses and squeezes until he feels better. Rush to my classroom to get ready for the day with other people's kids.
JM: Spend the morning comforting and snuggling with Nate as we watch reruns of Wow! Wow! Wubzy.
WM: Work, work, work
JM: Wash breakfast dishes, put laundry in washer
WM: Deter students from going to the office for ice packs, cough drops, etc.
JM: Laundry (including putting clean clothes away!)
WM: Count down the minutes until a quick Starbuck's run during lunch break.
JM: Play "Animal Doctor" with Nate, laundry
WM: Make contact with my local dealer for my liquid stimulant
JM: Make lunch for myself and Nate (who doesn't eat)
WM: Teach, nurse, settle disputes
JM: Laundry, wash floor (and realize I can't remember the last time I washed it!)
WM: Send students home or to after school care
JM: Pick Andrew up from school (early) and go home.
WM: Get the boys, finish up work stuff, wonder what the heck I'm going to make for dinner.
JM: Get home, let the boys play in the back yard, check on the dinner cooking in the Crock Pot, decide on side-dishes. Do laundry.
WM: Get home, let the boys crash on the couch. Order pizza delivery. Scale the Mount Everest-sized piles of laundry in order to air out the house by opening windows.
JM: Look forward to the Hubby getting home.
WM: Do a load of laundry... all boys' clothes. Wait for the Hubby and/or the Pizza Guy (at this point either one will do!).
JM: Be happy that all the laundry is washed, dried, and put away. Kiss the Hubby when he walks in and announce that dinner will be ready soon.
WM: Forget to put the wet, clean clothes in the dryer. Kiss the Pizza Guy when he arrives and announce that dinner is ready when Hubby walks in the door.
JM: Enjoy a nice dinner with my guys.
WM: Rush through dinner, Hubby cleans up. Finally put clothes in dryer and start another load (which will sit there until the next day).
JM: Bath time, play time, etc.
WM: Bath time, bed time, feel guilty that I'm not grading papers or making lesson plans
JM: Iron clothes, relax, talk to Hubby.
WM: Stay up too late, go to bed and fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
JM: Stay up too late, go to bed, and have enough energy to... well, you know.
OK, I admit... a lot of this is exaggerated. I don't really kiss the Pizza Guy! And in reality, being "Just" Mom is not always relaxing, satisfying, or productive. In reality, "Just" Moms don't always have clean homes, happy, healthy kids, and sexually satisfied husbands.
In my experience, however, trying to work full-time and then coming home and being Mommy is like trying to pick up one of those slippery, tube-shaped, gel-filled novelty toys-- just when you think you've got a hold of it, it slides out of your hands and falls to the floor. It's so difficult to do it all successfully!
Also, I realize that some Moms have to work. It's not easy these days to be able to pay for all that life throws at you. For those Moms, I have to say: Hang in there! I don't know how you manage it. At least I have an end in sight. I'm almost at the end of my contract (June 13th) and after that, I am blessed to have the option to not work.
So, there it is... how the "Just" Mom me differs from the "Working" Mom me. I didn't appreciate being "just" a mommy before I chose to go back to work. While life won't be perfect when I'm done with this school year (it never is), I feel confident that I will make better use of my time with my kids and around the house. I know I will appreciate my full-time job as Just Mom once I claim that title in 66 days, 7 hours, 51 minutes and 36 seconds.
But who's counting?
As the day came to an end, I started to see the differences between being "just" a mom and being a "working" mom. While the person hasn't changed, the roles of each position are vastly different. Here's what I mean:
Working Mom (WM): Get up, get ready for work. Wake the boys up, rush around to get them ready for school.
Just Mom (JM): Wake up, snuggle with the boys until they are ready to get up.
WM: Inhale breakfast. Find something the boys can eat in the van on the way to school.
JM: Enjoy a healthy breakfast. Make breakfast for the boys... a real breakfast, complete with Flinstone's multi-vitamins and juice.
WM: Grab last-minute items & necessities. Struggle, yell, and beg in order to get the boys into the van.
JM: While the boys eat their well-balanced breakfast, peruse school notes, sign field trip permission slips, read the teacher's weekly newsletter, savor a cup of hot coffee.
WM: Drive to work/school, cursing the traffic lights and slow drivers. Put lip gloss on, dig around in my multiple bags to make sure I didn't forget the keys to my classroom. Try to figure out if my kindergartener is serious when he informs me that his field trip money and permission slip are due that day. Curse myself and my parenting skills when I realize he's telling me the truth.
JM: Kiss the husband and kindergartener good-bye after making sure they have everything they need for the day.
WM: Late for work (again!). Send Andrew to the playground with the rest of the K-3rd graders with kisses and promises to pick him up right after school. Take Nate to his preschool room...promise to pick him up after nap-time, peel him off my legs, pick him up because he looks sad. Give lots of kisses and squeezes until he feels better. Rush to my classroom to get ready for the day with other people's kids.
JM: Spend the morning comforting and snuggling with Nate as we watch reruns of Wow! Wow! Wubzy.
WM: Work, work, work
JM: Wash breakfast dishes, put laundry in washer
WM: Deter students from going to the office for ice packs, cough drops, etc.
JM: Laundry (including putting clean clothes away!)
WM: Count down the minutes until a quick Starbuck's run during lunch break.
JM: Play "Animal Doctor" with Nate, laundry
WM: Make contact with my local dealer for my liquid stimulant
JM: Make lunch for myself and Nate (who doesn't eat)
WM: Teach, nurse, settle disputes
JM: Laundry, wash floor (and realize I can't remember the last time I washed it!)
WM: Send students home or to after school care
JM: Pick Andrew up from school (early) and go home.
WM: Get the boys, finish up work stuff, wonder what the heck I'm going to make for dinner.
JM: Get home, let the boys play in the back yard, check on the dinner cooking in the Crock Pot, decide on side-dishes. Do laundry.
WM: Get home, let the boys crash on the couch. Order pizza delivery. Scale the Mount Everest-sized piles of laundry in order to air out the house by opening windows.
JM: Look forward to the Hubby getting home.
WM: Do a load of laundry... all boys' clothes. Wait for the Hubby and/or the Pizza Guy (at this point either one will do!).
JM: Be happy that all the laundry is washed, dried, and put away. Kiss the Hubby when he walks in and announce that dinner will be ready soon.
WM: Forget to put the wet, clean clothes in the dryer. Kiss the Pizza Guy when he arrives and announce that dinner is ready when Hubby walks in the door.
JM: Enjoy a nice dinner with my guys.
WM: Rush through dinner, Hubby cleans up. Finally put clothes in dryer and start another load (which will sit there until the next day).
JM: Bath time, play time, etc.
WM: Bath time, bed time, feel guilty that I'm not grading papers or making lesson plans
JM: Iron clothes, relax, talk to Hubby.
WM: Stay up too late, go to bed and fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow.
JM: Stay up too late, go to bed, and have enough energy to... well, you know.
OK, I admit... a lot of this is exaggerated. I don't really kiss the Pizza Guy! And in reality, being "Just" Mom is not always relaxing, satisfying, or productive. In reality, "Just" Moms don't always have clean homes, happy, healthy kids, and sexually satisfied husbands.
In my experience, however, trying to work full-time and then coming home and being Mommy is like trying to pick up one of those slippery, tube-shaped, gel-filled novelty toys-- just when you think you've got a hold of it, it slides out of your hands and falls to the floor. It's so difficult to do it all successfully!
Also, I realize that some Moms have to work. It's not easy these days to be able to pay for all that life throws at you. For those Moms, I have to say: Hang in there! I don't know how you manage it. At least I have an end in sight. I'm almost at the end of my contract (June 13th) and after that, I am blessed to have the option to not work.
So, there it is... how the "Just" Mom me differs from the "Working" Mom me. I didn't appreciate being "just" a mommy before I chose to go back to work. While life won't be perfect when I'm done with this school year (it never is), I feel confident that I will make better use of my time with my kids and around the house. I know I will appreciate my full-time job as Just Mom once I claim that title in 66 days, 7 hours, 51 minutes and 36 seconds.
But who's counting?
5 comments:
Thanks for your blog. It's a good reminder of why I do what I do as a SAHM. I am really working on changeing my perspective on my job. Thank you for your perspective.
when the day comes again that you will be "just" mom, I will rejoice with you as well, (I'm sure) your husband and the kids will too.
It is something when one day when the boys are all grown up, you can confidently say that YOU raised your children, no one else.
i know exactly how you feel. i've been in both worlds and it's such a blessing to be home with the kids. I remember thinking "wow, i wonder what it's like to sit and eat a healthy breakfast with my kids?". I did the food on the go for so long and now after babysitting 2 kids who have working parents gone 11 hrs a day, i am so blessed and thankful for the opportunity to raise them. nice blog mama.
I love the water weenie analogy!
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